Blonde Ambition

So we all know that I am obsessed with pop culture, and turning 21 recently has got me thinking about my life and my journey thus far. I was watching a clip of Jessica Simpson performing a song (I know some of you are judging me), and it's so strange but I find that very often wisdom comes in the strangest places. Anyway, so she is interacting with the audience before a song and then thanked them all for their support. She mentions the fact that she used to think that it was all about competing with everyone else, or trying to be #1, or be someone else for that matter and that success only really exploded in her life when she embraced who she was and did what she wanted to do. She was obviously referring to trying to be America's Number 1 pop princess, and as we all know she only became a huge superstar when she let that go and did a reality show, where she showcased who she was.

It really got me thinking about my own life, and the parallels in that. I have been so lucky to have friends and people who support my work encourage me to embrace who I am. I am also encouraged to go after what I want to do, and not feel obliged to follow anyone's footsteps. I used to think and feel that I had to be number one, or compare myself to others to find success. While celebrating such successes is always great, it can't define who we are - we need to guide our own happiness. Letting go of the pressure, and just being myself and doing the things that seem natural to me has proven so much more rewarding and successful in my own life. So thanks Jess, for articulating what I have been thinking, but struggled to find the words to say - and for inspiring this late-night ramble.

Encounters: I went to see the documentary YouChuse at the 10th annual Encounters South African International Documentary Festival tonight. It was great fun, I actually don't see as many doccies as I should. Check them out. The Cape Town leg of the festival runs at Nu Metro in the V&A Waterfront until 13 July 2008. Visit www.encounters.co.za for more information.

I'm Twenty One

I have been meaning to make this post for about two weeks now. We have done a little re-design on this site... hopefully for the better.

I turned 21 last month on the 24th June, so I am now officially legal - whatever that means :)

Thanks to all my readers who sent me messages and wishes - it really is appreciated.

I threw a huge bash to celebrate the occasion on the 14 June and invited all my near and dear friends in Cape Town. As you can seen in the picture above, my friend Kyle gave me this huuuge wine glass and it was filled with punch and champagne the whole evening - I was on another planet by the end of the evening. The theme was Hollywood Through The Ages (obviously!!!) and it was really the most amazing party I have ever thrown - and there have been some good ones! It was really so great to have so many of the people who I love dearly there, it really reminded me how far I have come and how much I have survived to be here. I am so blessed by all the love in my life

I gave a tongue-in-cheek speech at my 21st, which a couple of people liked and have asked me to post online - so here it is:

This wouldn’t be a Twanji Kalula event, or a Hollywood themed event without an acceptance speech. I don’t know what I am winning. I am probably accepting this award on be half of my liver - the hardest working liver in Cape Town. I know I am supposed to ramble about what I have learnt and stuff, but in reality I know that this is my world and you folk just live in it, so I would like to thank a few of the people who make this fantastic life I lead possible.

I would like to start off by being unconventional by thanking myself. Ever since I can remember, I have been having conversations with myself. One of my most prominent childhood memories is a conversation I had with myself when I was maybe 6 or 7. I said “Twanji, you are going to face many challenges and people won’t always have faith in you for whatever reasons, but you can do anything and be anything you want to – you are just going to have to work really hard.” This has amazingly kept me going through many hardships. Throughout all my struggles, at the end of the day the one consistent has always been that I have been there for myself. So Twanji Kalula, wherever you are, I thank you.

Thanks to everyone for being here. It means so much to have my people here with me tonight. This event is not about celebrating the fact that my body is about to start deteriorating, it’s about celebrating the relationships I have with each person in this room. I have been blessed to achieve and do many things that people don’t get to do in a lifetime, and this is largely because of the people who stand behind me and cheer me on.

Special shout outs to my true fanatics, the people who work with me at that horrible book store. They said I could never hold down a job, almost three years on I have proved them wrong. It’s been one of the greatest things I have done – I have grown up with you kids. Thanks for making shifts fun and dealing with my erratic behaviour and excessive sarcasm. Regardless of what’s going in my life, I am always guaranteed fun with you lot. I have made some of my best friends there… you and Mr Edwards are the only things I will miss when I leave.

You know, I have learnt that life is too short not to have fun. So, let it be known that I will continue to dance on tables, stages, pool tables, bars, poles and live it up. Thank you to all the people who stand with me in these endeavours and participate. To my good friends at SAB, thanks!

Tonight we must congratulate my parents; first and foremost for the fine genetic specimen standing before you, but also for reaching 30 years of marriage this year. I personally favour the self-serving pre-nup and a quick divorce, but you show the world how marriage should be done.

I must thank my parents for teaching me the most important life lessons. You all know that I am a very independent person, and it is largely due to the values they have instilled in me - self-reliance being the top of the list. I had the opportunity to see where they grew up a few years ago, and it was only then that I acknowledged how successful they really are. No one works harder than the two of you, I appreciate the fact that you have worked 20 hour days since I can remember to ensure that your kids have no worries, will never have to face the hardships you did and have every opportunity in this world.

Dad, I have spent years being approached by people and being told how great you are. It used to drain me, but at 21 I can acknowledge that you are actually one of the greatest, hardest -working African academics of our time. You shatter all the myths about black men. You have a job. You work hard, support your kids, are always on time and don’t believe anyone owes you anything. I will never read any of your books, or know how many degrees you have, but it doesn’t mean that I don’t respect your achievements. You have taught me the importance of hard work, having dreams that are bigger than yourself and the importance of giving back. At 21, I finally understand that you work so much to keep me in luxury. My father became the warden of a residence so that he could mentor hundreds of students, in the same way he was mentored. You are far too generous, often to your own detriment. You always help a friend and never forget the people who helped you along the way – something I try not to do. One of my greatest achievements is the fact that people have stopped asking me if I am Evance Kalula’s son, and now ask you if you are related to me. How do you like it now?

Mom, I always hear about how sweet and caring you are from the thousands of people you have met and medicated over the years. Needless to say, this is not the Mrs Kalula I know. Thank you for being the epitome of the no-nonsense black parent. At the end of the day I am not on heroin. This woman does not joke around. When I was 4 you made it quite clear who the boss was when you told me that you were not my friend. I learnt to respect others and myself from you. Thanks for working all day and then coming home and ensuring that we were taken care of, keeping the family together. Your hard work does not go unnoticed.

When people have to use the Oprah’s and Bill Gates’ of this world as role models, I have never had to look further than my own parents. Beyond their achievements, they have chosen career paths and turned down many lucrative projects in order to provide their kids with some sort of stability, while re-investing their skills and resources into the development of Southern Africa. They make life better for the people who need it most. Prof and Dr Kalula are the African Dream.

To my older brother, who came down from Joburg to be here. Someday I will forgive you for always orchestrating the nonsense that got me into trouble as a kid. You taught me that a true mastermind never partakes in the crime and that we have the most entertaining parents. To my sisters, who gracefully live in my shadow. If I were you I would hate me too. I must thank my siblings for their teen angst. You continue to keep me entertained with your drama. I am not easy to live with, so thanks kids.

When I was finally convinced to have this celebration the first person I called was Kyle Carson. He was so keen to add party planner to the stars to his cv, and I’m sure you’ll agree that he’s done quite alright. He fell off a chair today and almost disfigured his face on the fireplace – that’s the type of loyalty I’m talking about. I met him two years ago, and as my image consultant, he has been an interesting and colourful addition to my entourage. Somehow you have become one of my best friends, while still finding time to gather as many unflattering pictures and videos to blackmail me with for life. Our friendship is unique, between your attempts at physical and verbal violence you find time to be the greatest friend. You give me the best advice in the world and our conversations have been some of the deepest and most meaningful I have ever had. Whenever I need help with anything, you are the first person to go the extra mile for me and do whatever you can to help. I know very few people who live with as much integrity and brutal honesty as you do - you are a source of great entertainment, inspiration and the only white person I know, who has the courage to freely make use of the term ‘Bitch Nigger’. Thanks for the shopping, tolerating my abuse, the gold dusting and all the other stuff you have done to make today happen. Kylie – I still don’t like you, but me love you long time.

Suhair Solomon, I thank you for being there for me always. Thanks for being the MC tonight. You are one of the most beautiful people I know. I first met Suhair when I started working at Exclusive Books. She was my first friend there, we clicked immediately. Thank you for being there for me at some ground-breaking moments in my life and monitoring my vocal health. I really admire and look up to you. We don’t get to spend as much time together as we should, but we certainly make up for it when we are together. Our conversation back in September 2006 will never be forgotten.

It is always privilege to have my little Trinity in the same room:

Munene Khoza, who first rose to fame as a result of her live covers of Avril Lavigne’s ‘Sk8ter Boy’ and ‘Complicated’ back in high school is here. I forgot to mention that one at your 21st, but I got ya now – you have been exposed. Thanks for flying in for today. Miss Khoza – you have redefined my idea of true friendship – you know that we are bonded forever; I have truly survived the last four years because of you. You come a close second to my mother as far as shouting at me is concerned, and that is truly something that only you can get away with. Please just play my speech at your 21st to yourself again in your private time, because I don’t have the stamina to force tears at this point. Thank you for everything you do and who you are – and for buying me my first three shots of stroh rum at the Pig and Swizzle three years ago. I haven’t looked back since.

We are blessed to have Tatum Strauss here. She is a walking brand power ad for Windhoek, Namibia. I do hate the fact that you see right through me and always kill my fun. You are truly a shining example of the resilience of the human spirit. I am so amazed at how far you, and we, have come in the last two years and how many battles you have overcome. I love the fact that we laugh through the scandals that are our lives. Your maturity, character, personality, presence and strength are far greater than your pint-size. Even though I have to look down to see you, I look up to you. I thank you for everything you did today.

No one holds me accountable to myself like Munene and Tatum, whose sarcasm, extremely brutal honesty and wit saves me from myself on a daily basis. I often feel like they believe in my dreams more than I do. The three of us will take over the world.

I want to thank everyone else who had a hand in today – Queen, Lowena, X, Natasha, Nicci, Lauren and anyone I’m leaving out.

I could go on for years about each person in this room. I have the greatest friends in the world. One of the downsides of growing up in another country has meant that I really don’t have an extended family. However, you have all made it possible for me not to even notice this – you folk have become my family. I never have to go through anything alone. I am amazed at how lucky I am to have you all on my team. Best of all, you all ensure that I always make fun of myself, and don’t take myself to seriously – clearly, given the last few minutes, I don’t.

The one thing I have learnt that sometimes people will stand by you, and sometimes they will walk away. I have experienced both. Both are equally important, but the former reflect unconditional love. I have also learnt that as long as you have people behind you, there is always room for a comeback. Thanks for standing by me – I am so grateful to still be alive - I love you all. Let’s have a party.

It really was a great evening. I had my after party for the event at Friendly Society - it's a great little club/ lounge in Green Point, Cape Town. I am actually headed there tonight to catch Odidiva performing her cabaret act with some friends.